Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success- yours or his-

The way we feel towards our close friends is continuously modulated by his or her achievements in life. This aspect of human relationships is an important consideration when examining one’s response to another’s progress. On another level, however, the degree of individual maturity will either elicit jealousy or genuine appreciation for that person. In a broader sense, Western Society esteems success as a model that inspires others and generates many positive elements. Success can be taken to other levels, creating jealousy.

The irrevocable nature of the drive to form relationships is based upon attraction to another’s qualities or the desire to be associated with a particular individual or group. That is to say, we choose our networks to satisfy our needs on a personal and societal level. Therefore, when one succeeds, we will naturally feel some emotion. We may vicariously benefit from the fame or prestige of another, or we may even become jealous of the successful party. To state that this is only human misses a deeper reality. This reality is that often the motives for forming relationships are often self-seeking in which case there will be a negative response. Needless to say, the plethora of personality types will create a variety of situations, each varying from the motivations of the individual. Nevertheless, success is not the only thing that alters our opinion.

Behind the event of success lies a certain drive, focus and determination that leads to achieving a particular goal. What may result in the admiration or jealousy of another is not the realisation of success itself, but the personal attributes that make it possible. Hence, what changes our opinions of our friends is their personal growth and stepwise mastery of themselves. Winston Churchill once stated that success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Indeed, Samuel Morse was flanked by multiple electronic failures in the attempt to develop the Morse code. In these low points, friends often abandon their colleagues in the attempt to avoid the vicarious trauma. It is when they finally succeed, that there is guilt at their lack of faith and admiration for the strength of character that persists in the face of hardship. The change of opinion, therefore, belies a deeper self-loathing which we direct towards the successful person, persecuting what we fear- the realisation that we have been mediocre in the face of opportunity.

The third aspect of this issue is Western Society’s perception of success and the successful. Indeed, fame and fortune are treacherous paths that often turn on those who manage to pass through the threshold of luck or skill. While success brings material and emotional substance, it also can incite an urge to bring that person down. Often, the media machine feeds off this desire of the common person and will output copious gossip stories that will create wealth fuelled by jealousy. Indeed, if the status quo is surmounted, it challenges us as a whole. The question must be asked whether society will ever free itself from this negative attribute. Unfortunately, it would seem that the human condition is to eventually eschew those who make it, and their state is changed forever.

It is clear therefore that success does play an important role in modulating the level of friendships. There are other levels at which the human mind acts which makes it increasingly difficult to accept. Unless society matures, it can only expect to view successful people as someone other than human.